Liberation Poem

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Those who we accuse
of abusing
Were abused.
Maybe by someone they depended upon to be alive
And although they’ve decided to survive
Being alive hurts too much sometimes.
I have been there.
We can make new choices.
We don’t need to build on that foundation.
We can be the ones to break the pattern.
Inside is all the strength we need.
All the permission we need.
You see this USA country
Is founded on some pretty big lies.
Every day we deny
That we’re connected to the genocide
Of First Nations and Africans
And that’s the pattern we’ve been repeating because
We have not consequentially withdrawn our consent
From that pattern.
What the process looks like inside someone’s head
I imagine
Goes something like this:
If I love, then I probably love someone who needs me
To help them make this right.
If I love, then I probably love someone who needs
An ally to stand with them
In defiance of the program,
In disruption of the pattern.
So I just won’t love. It’s ok. What’s love?
It’s not something to eat or a place to live
A nice car to drive
You can’t knock your knuckles on it and hear a sound, so
Who will even notice?
And love, invisibly, starts to shrink.
In its place, a cold nothing starts creeping in.
Invisible.
Our world is dying.
We need to stop the denying.
In engineering, if we lie,
The bridge falls down,
The plane won’t fly.
It’s the same with Love.
By no longer depending on abusive
Ideology, role models of behavior
Or culture, for our money
For our opportunities
For our rationalizations;
By no longer depending on abuse
To define our identity
To define
Good and bad
How we react
Where we stand
What we’re allowed to do
We will start a new civilization founded on Love.
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Some Gentle Words About Las Vegas

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Las Vegas was devastated yesterday by the largest mass shooting in modern US history.  The public is responding properly; calling for no politicians to express their regrets unless we begin to pass meaningful gun reform laws.

Of course the NRA lobby patrols around Congress like the Nine Ringwraiths, making sure everyone stays in line.  The NRA itself is given to grandiose hyperbole and corruption, and by their methods many know they are not to be trusted.

When asking myself how the NRA can be pried off of our legislative system, it’s necessary to ask if the NRA itself is a standalone actor or if it is in fact, part of a bigger context or ecosystem of actors.

This could be an organized ecosystem, like a conspiracy, or it could be a cultural context of enabling extreme ego sickness or what is called “narcissism” in the western psychology paradigm.  From my own healer’s perspective, this ego sickness is perpetuated by walling in one’s heart and the illusion of complete separation from others.  This makes it easy to commit atrocious acts.

The goal of this sickness – termed “Wasichu” in the Lakota language – is to experience domination and control over others.  There are paltry few other rewards to be had from that choice, and the negative side effects are legion.

The “defenders” of the Second Amendment love to repeat the phrase “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people”.  And that is true.  On the other hand, we’ve seen that other countries trust their government enough to pass gun control laws (they’re not constantly in fear that they have to overthrow their government) and they have zero shootings of this kind, which seems like a desirable outcome.

What if the NRA itself as an organization, is merely a symptom of this pervasive culture of selfishness that we give permission to, every single day as we justify how this country works and we justify our own detachment from other living beings, be it our mate or pet or the coral reefs and polar bears?

There is another possibility, which is more in the conspiracy direction.  John Perkins describes the way that assassinations are carried out in modern day society; which is that someone who is already unhinged is recruited by someone posing as their friend, who preys on the cracks in their psyche.  Using manipulation, this unwell, generally friendless and isolated character is hyped up into a frenzy where they will assassinate the target as a matter of course, when they have the opportunity to do so.  You can see that this second, conspiracy theory context actually depends upon the presence of the first, cultural context in order to function.

I do want to point out that all narcissists maintain control over subordinates by a system of non-correlating rewards or punishments.  From a dog training blog written by Tim Frawley, M.A. Psychology;

Variable Schedules of reinforcement are the ultimate goal of any intervention.  Like the Fixed Schedules, they come in both Ratio and Interval form.  A Variable Ratio Schedule of 3:1 means that on the average the person is reinforced for every 3 demonstrations of the target behavior. Reinforcements are administered on an apparently random basis, as far as the individual is concerned. Variable Schedules produce the highest rates of responding and the most resistance to extinction of any of the Reinforcement Schedules. Examples of the Variable Schedules are Lotteries (Ratio) and hunting or fishing (Interval). Most of us have most of our social behaviors reinforced on a Variable Schedule (Think of how often you are complimented!).  It can be said that these Schedules induce a kind of paranoia in the individual, who never knows when the next reinforcement is coming. The reality is that the Schedule has to be carefully set in advance in order to ensure that enough reinforcement comes often enough to avoid a phenomena called Ratio Strain. This happens when the Schedule of Reinforcement is set too high and the individual “gives up” before the next reinforcement becomes available. An example of this would be the person who has been paid every two weeks, whose employer decides that pay checks will only be issued once a year.  For most people, this would constitute Ratio Strain. On the other hand, if the employer gradually moved toward a “once a year” pay schedule, most people would be able to adapt.  Moving through CRF, Fixed, and Variable Schedules in a gradual manner, based on the individual’s abilities serves to reduce the likelihood of Ratio Strain.

Translated into plain language, this means that randomly distributed punishments or rewards can create paranoia, where people spend a lot of time and energy wondering where the next blow is coming from, and it also is used to train the subject to obey more submissively, since they don’t have any control over the situation.

My request to anyone reading this, is to please resist being conditioned by these events.  My own practice is to remain open hearted and connected to our human family and our living planet.  Neil Young says only love can break your heart.  We’re all in this together.  Stay open, stay loving, and we’ll get there.

My healing journey prayer

I have been healing my sacral creative chakra for some years due to being touched inappropriately when I was three.  I don’t want to confront it, but it’s the truth.  I was harmed significantly by that behavior.

This is the prayer I used to heal:

I receive all the rights to my creations back with gratitude! Thank you.

I receive others’ agreement stating that I own all the rights to my shakti (creative energy), with gratitude. Thank you!

I receive the lessons of this experience fully. I value myself. The part of me that was damaged is now healed so that predatory people cannot take advantage of my wound and I only attract people who love and encourage my wholeness.

I am grateful to receive the help of wonderful people who I can trust, who will free me from whatever unhealthy relationship I had with the past so that I am relating to it and to everyone in a healthy, self-respecting, empowered way.

I receive the healing of this experience fully and completely into my energetic field and I release all cords between myself and The past completely, with gratitude, forgiveness and unconditional love.

I am ready to receive money and all the other benefits of my creation, to myself and embrace these rewards with gratitude.

And so it is.

How Long Before It Dawns On ‘Merica

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How long before it dawns on ‘Merica?

That racism induces error

That good is better than evil

That peace is better than war.

How long before it dawns on ‘Merica?

That female is as worthy as male

That energy is infinite

And free.

How long before it dawns on ‘Merica.

We see, we see.  The Dawnzer Lee Light.

Klickitat Street, or MAX Light Rail, Portland?

How shall we remember thy name.

Day chases day

Each passing moment rakes

Mere Anarchy

across the world.

How long before it dawns on ‘Merica?

Will the Dawn’s Early Light tell us of

How diminished human beings are by the desire to subjugate;

to control.

Don’t you know, that the slave you hold down,

Must be held down.

And while you are holding her down

You will never be free.

“Genocide. That was their intent. To make life hard for us so we’d cause our own destruction.” Brown people, black people, white people who were colonized within Europe and the British Isles. This Hawaiian leader speaks echoes across the millennia of colonization.

The opposite of self-destruction is self-love. Self love is self care AND it is also tending, valuing the planet. It is valuing each other. It is seeing that we are all interconnected. If one of us is hurt, it hurts all of us. If one of us is healed, it heals all of us. Malama pono.

Spiritual Power

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Suspended in the dark emptiness of space

A conversation

With a mind.

Take this.

It is the last weapon that there is.

A light sword.

With it, you will become powerful.  This sword

Will show you all your fear,

Your weakness

Your vulnerability

Your cheap tricks

Your bad habits.

When you have made your peace with all of those,

You will finally

Be disciplined.

That

Is real power.

Ecstasy

Pursuing relationship and self actualization are, in fact, opposite choices. 

However, like the line between night and day, or dreaming and waking, there is a place where they become the same thing.

This is the first clue to the Buddhist idea of rigpa.

The closest moment to the rigpa is the moment of creativity.  That is why we must be very careful of our thoughts.  To give our life energy to a thought or idea is to realize it.

Original painting by Malian. Prints available at http://www.mauliolafestival.com

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Telling a Truer Story About Me

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The portals. All we are doing is telling a story about ourselves to everyone. Trying to tell a true story. And the portals are when we decide it’s time to change our story.

Yudhistira Purwanto took this photograph in Jogjakarta, Indonesia. I met him and his crew of cinematographic friends as I made my pilgrimage to my mother’s birthplace; becoming more of who I really am. Telling a truer story about me.

Portals are scary. We have to trust that there is something better on the other side. This  surrender is the teaching of the Asian philosophies. All the fantasy generated by the Ahamkara, the I-Maker (ego in English) is simply illusion. To invest in the illusion is a grand mistake.

I am Asian. It is my culture to release the illusion. It’s only a story. Maybe a playful story, maybe interesting. Maybe heart-rendering. But just a story. A story we can change.

Happy New Moon.

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House of Your Purity

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Oh you

Spiritual traveller

Connected to the stars

I saw you sleeping in the forest

Under hoary trees

With your overcoat on

The peace of cold clean water in your soul.

You slept with a clear conscience

In the house of your purity, your heart

Was sparkling truth

Your throat singing sweet chords of honesty.

I saw you, with long grey hair tied behind your head

Shaggy but tranquil

You kept my hair clip in your flannel pocket as a talisman

A message of love from the cosmos

And your dreams became sweet.

Why I Find #HillaryClinton’s #Interventionism Unbearable

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My mom was a refugee. My grandpa sent her away from Medan, Indonesia where she was born when she was 10 years old, because there was a genocide that began when the CIA tried to overthrow the communist president Sukarno and turn people against his alliance with China, by spreading the rumor that the Chinese in Indonesia were oppressing the indigenous by making a lot of money while others didn’t, very much like the Holocaust was rationalized in Germany. 

I live to this day with the post traumatic stress of my grandpa and my mom, and while I’ve been mostly able to heal from it, they definitely haven’t. That is why I find #HillaryClinton’s #interventionism unbearable; because I know that the devastating consequences will last far after she is dead and there is no worthy reason to take other sovereign nations’ right to succeed or fail on their own terms, away from them. We don’t know their culture, we don’t know their laws.  These are wars of self interest, more than anything.  
 
Secretary Clinton did get to intervene in Libya and when critics say her elimination of Gaddafi led to the rise of Isis, she blames Obama for not having bombed Libya after Gaddafi was killed. So goeth the narrative with Syria. Since we know her friend #SidneyBlumenthal was hoping to get a huge government medical care contract from the replacement government with Libya, we can infer (and debate the legitimacy of inferring) that they had assumed a standard US issued government like those in Iraq and Afghanistan would be installed – what people in other countries like to call “puppet governments”. The world is pretty tired of that sort of proxy colonialism that the US has practiced for years – the kind John Perkins has documented Henry Kissinger being a proponent of in his book “Hoodwinked”. 
 
When you know the extent of the damage done by our agents worldwide, you will stop seeing Isis or Osama Bin Laden as demons and start realizing that they are human beings responding to conditions that the US helped create. Osama was there when his parents cut deals with the Bush family for oil, that would disenfranchise the people of Saudi Arabia, who live in abject conditions while their rulers profit from corruption. John Perkins details his involvement in that corruption in his book “Confessions of an Economic Hit Man”. 
 
The people of Isis have been radicalized by constant violence, death and ultimately heartbreak which has been ongoing in their region since 2001.  It’s been 15 constant years of unrelenting violence.  Many of them were children whose minds were still developing when exposed to this tidal wave of violence that we decided to unleash on them for no good reason.  We haven’t apologized to the mothers whose babies died, the women or men who were raped, for #AbuGhraib, for the destroyed infrastructure, cultural treasures, farms, or lives.
 
Violence breeds violence.  Love breeds love.  When we are taught to see the other side as evil, it is meant to cast ourselves as innocent. Which means we can hide our own evil and our own darkness from ourselves by projecting it onto the other.
 
Secretary Clinton is less morally compromised than Donald Trump, still she believes that she has to be compromised in order to succeed. 

 
Corporations who give her money, like Monsanto, stack the ranks of regulatory agencies like the EPA, and their chief is appointed BY THE PRESIDENT, which in turn makes it impossible for us to get approval for safe, organic pest control used widely in other countries (in just one of many examples) and criminalizes many important agricultural practices like actively aerated compost tea (illegal to transport across TMK lines meaning someone can’t start a business making it really well for other farmers).  
 
What I’m not willing to accept is that a so-called feminist candidate is willing to support biotech companies who spray little kids with pesticides in Kaua`i schools and then refuse to tell doctors what the kids were sprayed with. I’m not willing to accept a woman whose mentor is Henry Kissinger, a sociopath who engineered the economic demise of many developing nations by assassinating their leaders. I’m not willing to accept the corporate rape of Honduras and Central America assisted by this woman who prevented a democratically elected leader from returning to his post. And I’m not willing to accept the ignorance of that same woman who wanted to send back child refugees fleeing from the violence that she was instrumental in unleashing. I’m going to have another choice and I think the world will be uplifted by having a leader who sees that peace is more powerful than war.
 
What I believe is that I cannot accept that these horrors will be perpetuated because we all just settle for things being kinda wrong. That “kinda wrong” for first worlders means “my village was terrorized by corporate soldiers and several farmers were murdered because they wouldn’t give up their land and some young girls were raped” for a ‘third worlder. 
 
Bernie may be wrong on some things, however I think when challenged he makes an effort to inform himself, as he did with #BlackLivesMatter. He is running on the premise that he can’t accept a certain level of wrong because the cost of that complacency is too great. That is where he has got me and where my passion to see him elected comes from.
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